There's hope for us all....

SMOKING

There are deadly and incontrovertible drawbacks to smoking as you all should be

AWARE.....

And yet many of us continue blowing the carcinogens back into the air

MAFIOSO MONOPOLIES plying CANCER STICKS to CHINA and ASIA.

Promises of chemical utopia in some sort of >>FANaticT#ASIA

So in their billions these CANCER STICKS STILL SELL!!

And all you septic companies shall be roasted in

HELL

Like Chestnuts eternally roasting on an open

FIRE

The lies the lawyers still peddle, and no compensation?

DIRE

You evil little stick of FILTH and CANCER

When are you again going to rob this Earth of the 'Next' BEST

DANCER?

OR...

The 'Next' potential PELE or BEST?

You really put embryonic willpower to the

TEST.

So CHILDREN NEVER do HARD drugs or SMOKE in your

LIFE

LADS, you will NEVER be FIT the AWFUL stench of chemicals

RIFE

NOW..............

LASSES are smoking more than EVER before!

You pretty young things. A slow and painful death, don't be one that needs a

CURE

IF YOU WANT TO BE THE BEST or simply want to

BELONG...............

TRY QUITTING yesterday, get HELP from all 'EXPERTS' but you will have to be

STRONG

So to END here, just before I go....

DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR.....

AND START SAYING

"NO"

All awards see my management team.

I am proud of this

<(ovo)> Rob 16.30 22/01/10

DEDICATED TO BILLIONS OF POTENTIAL PUFFERS.

AND

TO THE SQUILLIONS OF DEATHS DUE TO SMOKING

****************************************************************************

To my Princess

You already know.... LET'S GO GO GO GO GO!! You made me do this....

What do you need me to do

To spread my wings and fly straight to you?

Already I have never known such love

Your hand fits perfectly in my glove

Since you found me or I found you

There is so much to say and do

Your words touch me in places like no other

I use these words as my protective cover

All I know to you I will get I don't know how

Knowing you need me I know I adore you too NOW

I laugh with you, I cry with you yes I really do

Your words transcend any place that I ever knew

Although I walked alone for a while

I never ever lost my smile

I was dying inside a little more each day

I didn't imagine there would be any other way

Enter my Angel to rescue me

You have made this old heart see

AND YES I want you. It's just meant to be....

I pray we two will soon be three.

Have I told you lately I love you.

From Birth to death....

We are born with nothing and leave with more or

LESS?

THE SAME

Having experiences in your life hopefully enjoying your

GAME

LIFE is no 'Dress Rehearsal' lets encompass

togetherness

LOVE your brother and your Sister too

THERE IS SO MUCH STILL TO DO

First we need to put aside our DIVISIONS

and become as

ONE

BEFORE?

In the blink of an eye

EVERYTHING IS

GONE

Haiti.....

Haiti...

OMFG. What is going to happen next?

A poem....

You are poor deficient, no cash to eat

The earth is taken from beneath your feet

And so again you continue to suffer

After the briefest respite buffer

So much devastation, how many dead

missing, buried, the aftershocked streets for your bed

The world is sending aid. Money and troops by the torrents.....

GODS ARE GREAT FOR CREATING

"abhorrence"

Here's my truth...

Life's a beach....

Really. I am having the time of my life at the moment....

I have pretty much started feeling quite good about myself for quite a few months. Due very much to all you lovely people on Twitter and Facebook. I have just the few MAJOR problems right now. I am going to try and open up on here a little.

To anyone who truly knows me, you know how private I am. I never tell. I never will. But this causes me some problems...

I have been to see my Social Worker, Phil, today. I honestly wasn't going to go. My appointment was at 2pm. I sauntered in at Half past. Now this is not unusual. I often joke that I will be 'late' for my funeral! I trust Phil. My social worker tells me like it is. No bullshit. For this reason I trust him and love him like a brother and I have actually divulged about 0.25% of my inner conflicts to him. I am glad I have someone who I can text or ring anytime of night or day and talk. I have texted him a few times and used the option of ringing him on one occasion recently.

Now. I don't like asking for help and I don't exactly take the 'help' on offer, and believe me, there have been many offers of said help. So when my social worker says... "There are so many people who genuinely care about you." Well, even now I find this very hard to accept. I have a fear of being touched by strangers. Both physically and emotionally. Emotionally touched? How does that work? Well, I find I stray away from forming relationships of a 'more than platonic' nature. This is ridiculous I know. I can't survive on my own. I really can't. My last long term relationship, it hit me hard. I had genuinely met the girl of my dreams. Ha! What a fucking nightmare she turned out to be!!

Anyway I will never sully my happy memories of my 'over' two years with this lady and it was great fun being engaged and having holidays all the time in Ireland and travelling the country on trains and me driving us everywhere at every given opportunity often at breakneck speed, which was enjoyed by all of us. I had another family. And they all really liked me. I belonged. I could be my usual idiotic, always on the go and cheeky chappy, that I always was. As a kid I was actually quite precocious and always had my head in books, radio on and watched telly all night in bed. Drawing and even at an early age I knew that I could write. Lyrics, poetry and stories long or short. The words just seem to pour out and luckily some of these words must be assembled in the right order because they seem to form readable, understandable and sometimes quite interesting sentences and paragraphs.

Believe me, this piece is not pouring out of me. I am actually having to think about what I write, rather than just letting go. Therefore I feel that this piece may flit about a little. Please ask or tell me if there is something that doesn't make sense because I don't read back before publishing and I don't check the spelling either!! (I am sure my friend Julie will tell me if I spell anything wrong or put a period in the wrong place!! :))

So let me just go back here, give a little filling to the main crust of this piece....

As I child I used to wake up with the most awful nightmares. This was pre any RTA. I used to go running into mum and dads bedroom and get in bed with them. Often crying my eyes out. I have always been emotional.

I remember when the next door neighbours dog 'went to the countryside to be with it's friends.' We all know, as adults, what this 'euphemism means. The dog had died.

Dilly the dog was called. I used to go out on the back garden at night, for a cigarette, yup, started early, smoking I mean. Nasty habit. Dilly the dog used to jump up, slavering tongue lapping at your face and him trying to leap over and come and play 'Let's make love to your leg' and other 'ball' games. Hehehehe!! <<>

Anyway I used my, 'not too bad' techniques of getting to the truth and got concessions off mum. No apology. I didn't want apology. I just wanted recognition that I never forget and will never lie on a subject so serious. This has hurt me to do this to my mum, who for some reason I still love dearly. She hates me. She always has. But this is not going to turn into a whys and wherefores about that...

Anyway let me fast forward a few years here...

I was diagnosed as having eating disorders as I have written briefly about somewhere or other, over 20 years ago. This was all seen as a 'joke' to my family. No joke.

How really nce of my 'close' family to take me to restaurants, as a kid and teenager, and even then be in severe distress and unable to eat the meals that were bought. My sisters got a choice of what they wanted. I always got bought the cheapest shit while they munched on steak! God O might, this a fine endorsement of my family. Well. I hope so anyway!! I have no family now. I have adapted and adopted myself into my cyber family. So far not too many of you have divorced me!!

So I need to get on with this....

The past few months. I have been having severe dietary problems. The 'days' of just living on copious amounts of sugar and Red-Bull with the odd binge thrown in here and there for good measure. Often resulting in anxiety as I wait for the food to return. Often not being disappointed.

I do not do this on purpose. I used to be fully in control of my eating, but sadly, I am having to accept that NEVER EVER will I have control over this particular aspect...

I think it may even be the death of me. I have said before that I am looking forward to getting off this planet anyway.

"I would never take any actions to hasten this exit..."

My body is doing a pretty god job of that itself.

I get a bit evasive when questioned too personally about all this. And anyone who I chat with, I think they know this, so KNOW better just not mention the eating bit at all. But most other subbies are not off-limits!! This is.

I am so happy at the moment. It is like my body is at war with this happiness.

I NEED my friends right now. YOU all know who you are. I can hardly talk to any of my friends around here about it or pretty much anything really. They are mostly a bit younger than me so they all keep me young. They thought I was 24 when I first actively seeking out a few friends around the ghetto hood!!!

So. I am not too worried. I think I look fine. (Well, actually I don't think that at all)

I will wait until Friday and just see what transpires. No doubt I will just say what I think my consultant wants to hear....

"I really think it maybe getting close to the time to tell her what she NEEDS to hear"

I am taking the positives from that last sentence....

Thankyou for taking time to read this, difficult for me to write piece. And PLEASE comment if you think that you have anything that I should hear. I really don't bite. Much, I will snap back every now and then, but only if I feel it is worth it.

Always......................

<(ovo)> Rob. xx 17.58pm ish 20/01/10

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Statistics.

STATISTICS.

There is that famous quote.....

"Lies, damn lies and statistics."

I was reading a 'not very top of the range newspaper' a bit ago. I don't mind reading some of the tabloids every once in a while. (Everyday I read and buy at least one 'red top' to be honest as I don't understand what the words in 'upper class' rags mean with more than say four letters in them mean!!)

Apparently as many as 30% of potential employers here in the UK will try to guage any prospective employees through reading their Twitter pages. I find this staggering. And really shouldn't these fat cats be finding other ways to judge the 'character' of somebody? Like Graphology or Nephrology.. Or various other means of assessing a persons credibility for a job. In fact why not try sending out refusal letters or at least some sort of acknowledgement that someone has taken the time to actually want to join your shitty company for minimum wage anyway?

So Tweeters here in the UK be wary that any potential new employer is going to perhaps read your page and be able to see what you have been upto... In fact, workers in the UK have been placed onto the ever growing list of the not just unwashed, but unemployed because of their posts on Twitter...

I find this disturbing.

OK if you are throwing a sickie from work then spend all day tweeting on your 3G equipped handset that... "I am having time of life here in London. FTW!" Then you get what you deserve... But even so. Everyone needs to take the odd sickie now and then and may find that tweeting or communicating via the internet is the only thing that makes them feel better.

I don't for one minute believe this particular statistic... The 30% of employers one, and reckon the journo who created the piece thought, hey, I have a good idea here, let me make something slightly interesting up!

There are some 20 million tweeters worldwide, thereabouts.. (and some I am convinced are not actually resident on the planet we call Earth!)

So to all you 'Jokers' and the 'Jokers in training but not quite funny enough yet' out there in Cyberland. Beware about prospective employees without any sense of humour. Or very pereptive employees.

These employees should be required by law to inform you... "We have been snooping on you, we have looked at your Twitter page..."

But so what? I know I have come out with some erm less than 'putting oneself in a good light' kind of tweets many times. Usually measured on an hourly basis... Thank the stars I am temporarily retired and on the scrapheap!!

Do not attempt to say anything slightly controversial or make a joke all you unemployed and desperate people out there. And try getting off fucking Twitter every now and then eh, and looking for a job!!

And to any employers who read Twitter pages, and then wonder why their company is going under.... well, you reap what you sow!!!

So to finish, the unemployed of you out there, I send my best wishes, enjoy the measly cold weather payment you may or may not receive, and good luck with the jobhunting! There are more and more people retiring everyday to spend 37 hours per day on Twitter so there are millions of jobs.... Allegedly.

<(ovo)> xx

Rob. 18/01/10 22.02 Approx.

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Just a quick one.

Just had a few hours of the old waterworks but had a lovely long shower and washed the residue of these tears away.

Shall not bore you with the reasons as to why the deluge occurred. Everything is fine, plus, I think it is great to have the ability to 'release'.

I feel like the tears have been wanting a few hours of my time for quite a few days now. I have had little weepy moments... Usually over music, but these have been because the music has affected me. In a great way. I love the fact that music can reduce me to tears.... For the right reasons and not always due to wallowing in self pity!!!

Not just music that can turn me into a jibbering wreck either!! May write about that later.

To anyone from Twitter who is kind enough to pop by and read the posts here, I owe a MASSIVE apology. I got sent a link to do some function or other. Now usually I avoid these links via DMs like the plague, as most of you do too, Twitterati, judging by the amount of DMs I have had back regarding the validity or otherwise of said link. But I think it was maybe a bit of a hello I am still here to some of you that I haven't spoken to for a while, but consider to be very great friends! <<>

And to anyone who has newly followed, my name is probably mud for spamming? Every single one of you, new and old... I think it is quite funny because it has indeed re-estabilished very many old contacts (...if eight or nine months on Twitter and Facebook is a long time:))

Twitter-mode.

When I first joined Twitter I was saying all sorts of weird and sometimes wonderful things, often bizzare things. I was not quite in Twitter-mode. What's Twitter-mode? Well, it is when you have something to tweet and due to the restrictions of the 140 characters or die, kind of restrictions placed on you and the inability to break these statements down to the requisite 140 or less characters and therefore, when not in Twittermode, many of these tweets that I was doing, initially made no sense whatsoever!! This probably made mundane tweets quite funny..

However, for all of you not able to enter Twitter-mode at will there is Twitlonger... I have been aware of Twitlonger for ages but never felt the need to use it! I got a recent DM reminding me of the feature of this option and have started using it a little more now. Easy as anything to join and you log in via your Twitter account.

I think/hope that this feature is secure. I am a bit puzzled though. I had 1050 DMs in my inbox. I popped into Twitter while out, via my trusty mobile. Couldn't really do a lot, my battery was nearly juiced and ready to drop!! I now have only 843 DMs. I don't know whether to laugh and jump about deliriously... Has some divine intervention occurred and cleaned the chaffe out for me? Or have more sinister forces been at work? Not sure yet... Not had chance to properly investigate yet.

But to the Tweeters who seem to revel in the delights of being able to use probably less than 10% of the available capacity of the 140 characters, Twitlonger will be of no use. Don't you just love monosyllabic Tweets?! What a waste of time.....!!!!

On a lighter note. Very many thanks for ALL the beautiful messages, DMs, Tweets, posts, music links and prompts, Blogs, art, photography, emails ETC ETC.... I really do appreciate each and everyone of them. OK, I may not like EVERY single one, but to take the time to send someone something it is so muchly appreciated and I assure you I do read, listen to or look at nearly 100% of your various means of communications.... The 0.01% of coms I do not look at involve racism or subjects that I will never entertain, but hey ho!! You can't help some of these people. I think that in my time at Twitter, just TWO overtly nasty and horrible tweets received well, that tells me something... <<>

I hope this doesn't sound corny. But, I have genuine feelings for 'several hundred' of my friends on Twitter and a few on Facebook. (And other places too... *wink-wink*)

Most of these feelings are paternal, brotherly, sisterly ETC, BUT some of these feelings border on the 'L' word. And I get really concerned if I don't see some of these people for a while. And as I have said before, don't worry. I will never tell any of you... Some of these people. Oh my goodness... You will never know how much I enjoy spending time online with you, talking to you or receiving Tweets and emails and various other methods that we can now communicate via. Without having to actually meet anyone!! <<>

The power of the internet that enables all 4 corners of the earth to communicate on a level only previously dreamed of, well it blows my mind....

<(ovo)> XX

Rob. 18.01.10 <<(Remembered to put 10 rather than 09!!) 20.20pm

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